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Friday, July 27, 2018

How We Survived a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationship is not for a faint heart. Humans are wired for instant gratification and the thought of not seeing or not being able to talk to the person you love is a difficult struggle to bear.
Long distance relationship is not for a faint heart. Humans are wired for instant gratification and the thought of not seeing or not being able to talk to the person you love is a difficult struggle to bear.
During our simple wedding at Jakarta.
Long distance relationship is not for a faint heart. Humans are wired for instant gratification and the thought of not seeing or not being able to talk to the person you love is a difficult struggle to bear.

Skype or Facebook messenger may not totally diminish the pain of separation but you can use it to build a strong foundation for your relationship. After all, it is known that people in long distance relationship have deeper and more meaningful communications. David and I were separated thousands of miles before finally seeing each other in person and more years of separation after getting married and processing our papers. It was through video calls and messages that we were able to work on establishing a stronger relationship.

Don’t doubt your love. Second-guessing decisions will weaken both of your will. What kills long distance relationship is the constant underlying ambiguity or irrational expectations. David and I had the same vision since we first talked. We knew that our goal for the future is to grow old together. This helped us surpassed all the struggles that we faced.

Don’t listen to skepticism. You have no responsibility to explain your choices in life and that includes your relationship. It is complicated enough for two people in love. People who surround you are merely spectators wishing for you to succeed or hoping for you to fail. When I married my husband, so many people expressed their doubts and indignation. But, marrying my bestfriend is the best thing that I have ever done. Cliche as it may sound, listen to what your heart says.

Live in love and hope. A long distance relationship without hope will not live. Eventually, the excitement will die. I remember that from the first day we started talking until the last day we were separated, the level of excitement whenever we talked was the same. I would wake up 4:00 a.m. to be able to talk to him before work and he would do the same thing. Thousands of messages, hundreds of phone calls, and endless conversations kept our relationship strong.

Communicate from your Heart. Be open about your feelings. Spoken words are important since it’s hard to read body signals if you are thousand miles from each other. Explain your fears, insecurities, and reasons for jealousy. Love thrives in honesty.

There is no secret formula to make sure that long distance relationship works. However, my husband and I can assure you that all the tears, all the pains, and all the difficulties are definitely worth it. The day I came here to the United States to be reunited with him is the best thing that ever happened to me. His tight hug and tears of happiness affirmed a deep commitment to our future and to a love which is to infinity and beyond.


19 comments:

  1. Me and my boyfriend survived a 3 year LDR and we have closed the distance 2 years ago ,still staying strong now. Definitely very relatable with your advice!

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  2. Ah, I can't imagine this! The longest my partner and I have been away is about 3 months and it already sucked. I'll keep this in mind next time, thank you so much!

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  3. Me and my wife started as a long distance relationship but we lived together now and couldn’t be happier

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  4. Me and my hubby started out long distance. It's HARD but so worth it when the day comes that you can be together!

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  5. Yes, agree all your tips and definitely with "Don't doubt your love". Thanks for sharing.

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  6. You are so right you must always honour your feelings and speak from your heart! Good advice. Thanks for sharing! Rach

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  7. nancy_ycnanOctober 02, 2018

    Thank you very much for such useful information! I feel that I shall be benefitted and my friends will be benefitted!

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  8. This was great hun. Your writing is beautiful. I look forward to read more from you.

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  9. Great post.... Im in LDR relationship now and this is great help.....

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  10. I can't imagine managing and making a long distance relationship work, great advice though!

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  11. I know from my experience that my ex could not handle the distance for a long period of time so to read advice for those who need it is great. Really good post!

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  12. I would imagine long distance relationships are difficult. I also know when there is love anything is possible!

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  13. Really nice post and kudos for making this happen.

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  14. Wow. Nice post. LDR is really a hard scenario to cope with for couples. Thanks for the tips.

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  15. Doubting if your loved ones truly care will weaken your relationship with them.

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  16. I once was in a long distance relationship, and I think it was super cute, of course I wanted to hang out, but we made it the best of it. We are still good friends, but unfortunately distance did get between us!

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  17. Coming from a family whose dad had to go overseas to work for more than 5 years, I can definitely say long distance relationship is not for a faint heart. Both survived though, I guess their love withstood it all. Thanks for sharing this post.

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  18. We had a healthy long relationship for 8 years and then got married. Yeah everything you mentioned is must in LDR. More important is trust! Which plays vital role.

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  19. A long distance relationship is really not easy. I trial one time, in the end broke up in 3months.

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